Friday, June 8, 2012

Random drop-ins

Why does the random and not-so-random drop-in always happen at the worst possible moment?

This morning The Surfer's mother dropped his surfboards off. Today is not normally the day I would expect her to drop in with these but anyway she rolls up right in the middle of BREAKFAST GONE BESERK.

It's ugly. There is a stream of porridge running from the microwave to the rubbish bin. Hammerhead is refusing to eat anything at all and is calling everyone a poo head. Barnstormer wants to be carried in the middle of all the nonsense, despite being nearly 4 and over 16 kilos. I am dressed in HM's very ugly black hoodie and some most unsightly old pyjama pants--which are on back to front. HM is dressed in what I like to call "homeless man chic" which is basically anything on the floor on his side of the bed but layers and layers of the stuff. He gets very cold and can be known to have on four or five layers of clothing.

The radio is on really loud to drown out the whining of the toddlers. I am at the sink with back to everyone. I am telling Hammerhead that he is the biggest poo head in the world. And there she is, The Surfer's mother, quietly wandering into the mayhem bearing boards and a wetsuit.

HM offers her a cup of tea but she knows better and says she is in a hurry. None-the-less she stays for about as long as it takes to drink two cups of tea while I stand between the kids who are trying to wrestle on the table. She doesn't seem to care at all that Barnstormer calls her bumhead and keeps trying to offer her some teaspoons of scrambled eggs, as in forcibly tries to feed her. Maybe she enjoys watching the chaos.

The other not-so-random drop-in is Father-in-law. Even though most of his visits are timed to get away from an episode of Bold and Beautiful, he almost always turns up when the kids are watching television. He thinks that this is what they do ALL DAY.

Why does no-one randomly drop in when I have just cleaned the house? (There is usually a 25 minute window of opportunity before it is messed up again.) Why does F-i-l never turn up when we are knee deep into my highly organised creative painting sessions? Why does the neighbour come over at nutcase hour and want to explain all the things that we need to look after while they are away.

Why does no-one randomly drop in when we are having our most enjoyable co-operative cooking sessions? (Ones that don't involve flour). Or when we are all madly dancing to the theme song from Doctor Who? WHY?

You may be able to tell that I haven't had the best of days.

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