I've given up my wine and long macs. It's been three weeks exactly.
I had a bit of a crisis point just over three weeks ago. A very good friend died nearly two months ago--a most beautiful human being--and the black dog bolted down the well worn path. It was the third such friend I have lost to cancer. Am I jinxed? At this rate I am losing a fantastic friend once a decade.
I hit a very bad patch and so it was back to the GP for new directions after a lovely chat with a nice man on the Mental Health Emergency Line. GP enquired as to my alcohol and caffeine intake. Now I am no Hunter S. Thompson but I have to admit, my 'daily' glass of wine around nutcase hour was turning into two glasses, sometimes three. I knew this wasn't good but it seemed to taste nice.
Then it was coffee first thing in the morning. HM is barista extraordinaire and usually makes at least three full strength long macs before I am even out of pyjamas. This is often followed by a trip to a cafe with Barnstormer and Hammerhead for more. We like cafes.
Anyway, the irony is that you go to the GP depressed and they then tell you that you have to quit coffee and plonk. So you leave the GP even more depressed than ever!
Strangely, it has been very easy to give it all up. I think the fact that it is winter is helping. I do miss the little rituals that HM and I used to have but I am soldiering on, with clarity. Now I am hoping that weight will just magically fall off! I need to lose ten kilos at least. I am pretty certain I look exactly like that poor girl in the papers on the weekend where everybody had to judge whether she was fat or not. I almost have her height and definitely have her weight. So I am 'average'. This is one instance where I want to be below average. Stay tuned.