Sunday, July 15, 2012

Fifty Shades of Over It

Yes I've banged on about this before. And I don't know about you but I think I am Fifty Shades of sick and tired of reading about Fifty Shades of anything. I guess it's because I read these books on my iPhone some months ago now, and while I couldn't put them down--despite the author's very limited vocabulary (synonym for mercurial anyone?) and propensity for stating the bleeding obvious, not to mention her obsessive use of repetition as a literary tool--the love affair is completely OVER.

And the whole sexy-mommy-porn-thing was completely ruined for me because ALL I could think of was that Christian Grey was just a tad too Fifty Shades of American Pyscho  and the ONLY person I could picture as Christian while reading the entire trilogy was his somewhat scary namesake, Christian Bale. There were just TOO MANY references of bodywash to get over.

Sadly, one cannot currently open a newspaper, magazine or website or pretty much ANYTHING without some reference to Fifty Shades. And it is everywhere you go. While women may have once been secretly reading them on their kindles while on the train to work, you will now see all sorts of women [be they young, old or bogan] with the hard copy in FULL VIEW while eating their $9.50 combination Chinese meal in the local shopping centre food hall with their kids. I know this for a fact because I counted three women doing exactly this at Whitfords yesterday.

My online research into this phenomenon has been much more sophisticated than my shopping centre field work. In my travels, I did discover some very clever reviews and have linked them below for your perusal. These reviews are much, much better than the actual books themselves. Enjoy!

If you have nothing else to do on a wintery day, I seriously recommend reading some of the above. Katrina Lumsden's reviews, in particular, are utterly HILARIOUS and also illustrated.

I said "Don't bite your lip!"

But back to reality for a moment, an update on how things are going in the house of Insane Jane:
  1. We still have no kitchen tap. Surprise. Lots of work is being carried out in the shed, however, I am still carting hot water via bucket from the laundry. I feel like Laura Ingalls. 
  2. The boys are still surfing despite more tragedy in the oceans.
  3. I am contemplating an early start to the packing fiasco for our mission to Dongara this Thursday.
  4. You may have noticed that instead of doing (paid) work, I have been fiddling around with fonts and colours on this blog. I am the original procrastinator.

Incidentally, I mentioned to HM that I was actually looking forward to going to Dongers and that it was possibly the first time I was really feeling positive about a little family weekender rather than dreading the whole packing nightmare, clean up and more [see here]. Never one to miss an opportunity, HM immediately booked us in for an extra night into our delightful beachfront cabin - the same one we stayed in last year. Yee ha!
The little people are travelling well. Barnstormer and Hammerhead are living the high life during school holidays with parties, beach visits, cafes, movies, cooking, Mr Men stories and other non-stop entertainment. It's all good and this afternoon we will be making pikelets.

**** LATE NOTE**** Just looked up American Psycho author (Bret Easton Ellis) to see what else he has done since American Psycho and was SOMEWHAT PERTURBED to read that he is putting his hat into the ring in a bid to write the screenplay for the Fifty Shades movie.


Anonymous said...

So so true darls!

Though I genuinely think the fifty phenom is more due to a liberation of women feeling its ok to read erotica rather than the book and contents of itself! Let's face it the sex in the book is pretty crap and writing childish on so many levels but that's all irrelevant ; for woman everywhere they're no longer ashamed to read this sort of book and there's some really great erotica authors/books out there !!

That's the true power of fifty and that's why I'll be recommending anyone I know to read it!!! Yes it is fifty shades of tedious; but I like to think of it as a gateway for women. You can bet it'll be on the curriculum for sociology students because of its impact on women's reading habits but also cos women empowered other women by recommending it to each other or passing their copy on. Basically this was a form of social empowerment totally owned and moved by women!! That's the power!!!

On a more non political level whilst I was reading it all I could hear in my head was my husband saying to me ( if he'd read it) well what's all the fuss! You wouldn't be interested if he wasn't a billionaire ( he said the same about mr Darcy and pemberley years ago which made me think he WAS so right but don't get me on about p& p!!!). So my thought is if he were just an ordinary guy without the g4 and boat and billions would the christian have been soooo enticing? No we'd never have heard of him or his fifty shades of fucked up! The moral of that is The Power of the Billionaire!!! ..... And that my hubby was right all along!!! Plus he'd say something like " what you reading that for? You've got me"!!! Hmmmmmmmm
I'm biting my lip.......

Triple Jane said...

Ha ha, Yes but even if he wasn't a billionaire let's not forget that he was really, really ridiculously good looking. Let's be honest: if Rob Lowe (using our vintage as a reference) rolled up on the doorstep penniless, you wouldn't pretend you weren't home, would you?

Anonymous said...

I'm not into the brad Pitt sweet boy toy looking guy, Daniel Craig maybe!! What I meant was would he get away with 'everything' if he were a normal working class guy? No!! Even if he were drop dead gorgeous and well endowed!!!!!

His OCD would quickly get him thrown out way before the 'spanking' started!!! Never mind as soon as you saw the Red room you'd be straight to the door!! Love the critiques by the way they're very funny!!!

I like how it's all become a joke and hey she's gonna make so much money she won't need to write another book!!! Small mercies!!!!

Can you imagine what the moviie is gonna be like? Iimagine Bale on the set "do you know who I am" cracking his whip.....

I actually like bale!

The pom
As if you couldn't guess

Mummy in Disguise said...

hahaha, love it! I haven't read the books yet, but this has just made it a bit more interesting for me:) Will def be picturing Bale as Christian me thinks...

Can't believe you still don't have a tap!


Glow said...

Won't somebody buy that woman a fucking thesaurus!!! It makes me so annoyed I purse my lips in to a firm, hard line. #headdesk

I see your food court reading and raise you a "Welcome to Big W, today we have 50 Shades of Grey on special for $10.95" over the loud speaker. I guess it's normal now, hey?

Triple Jane said...

I wonder how much money E.L. James has actually made out of this? Imagine the scene where she first got outed (real name Erika Leonard) and then had to explain to her teenage kids that she'd been writing Twilight fan fic... with a BDSM twist. Bet they're now loving the millions that are rolling in.

Triple Jane said...

I don't mind Bale either, just not in Psycho mode. I think Christian Bale is too old for this role. Needs someone younger and hey, I'm no casting agent, but I think they should get a relative unknown for the role. Same for the girl. What am I even talking about--I'm guessing I won't be queuing up to attend this movie anyway!!!!! It will probably be ever so slightly better than SATC 2.

Triple Jane said...

I am not surprised in the least that I still don't have a tap. HM is the master of unfinished household projects. Don't get me started on those. Apparently we should have a tap by tomorrow. It's either that or divorce.

I myself don't mind Christian Bale either--it was more his charater in the book/movie (Patrick Bateman) that I couldn't help thinking of. I don't know whether you've seen the movie (or read the book) American Psycho but it's not very pleasant. There were SO many similarities for me: the good looking, wealthy businessman; the kinky sex; the constant smell of body wash and so on. At least in 50 Shades, while there is some whipping, there is no killing! xx

Unknown said...

God I hated that book! What does this say about women that a sadist if the hottest thing on the book shelves at the moment? And what does it say about the publishing industry that such rubbish sees its way to the shelves?