Friday, October 26, 2012

October Evaluation and Assessment

Just a quick post to firstly say am feeling extremely overwhelmed and stressed at the moment and haven't had a chance to blog. It's all my fault and again, I have not stuck to what I said I was going to. Damn lists. Who needs them! I don't even want to look back at that list I posted a few weeks ago as I'll bet I've achieved nothing on it.

I've been a tad greedy with work projects and said YES to absolutely everything and then I whinge about being up all hours working and having no life and no time. My reasoning, at the time, is to get ahead now so that I can afford to take some time off over summer to get that bikini bod down to the beach with the peeps. The bikini bod is not at all achievable, but I do intend to hit the beach.

I'm feeling left out of things at the moment and looking forward to nailing these last projects. Barnstormer told me the other day that I was not allowed to go with them to the pool because I "haven't finished my work or met my deadlines". She just turned 4. She talks like a performance manager. She told me I "need to re-organise my work things so that I have time to do fun stuff". She also said that "making excuses is not the way to go". Why am I not as intelligent as her? It's not fair.

Even though this year has another couple of months to it, I have learnt that:

  • I am crap at meeting deadlines when it comes to writing  my books.
  • I am most excellent and efficient at meeting deadlines when it comes to editing reports.
  • I spend too much time looking at life through a screen of some sort.
  • My medication makes me focus on myself, to the detriment of other family members, more than I should.
  • I lost my mind some years ago, but more recently, my medication has severely diminished my short-term memory.
  • I think my short-term memory has disappeared.
  • Did I mention that I don't seem to remember anything?
So, quite simply, these are my three goals for 2013:

1. Get off the meds. Or at least CHANGE the medication.
It's affecting my ability to work. I can't remember how I've styled things in documents and am continually backtracking. I feel like Guy Pearce in Memento. I have to keep writing notes to myself about things to remember. I've missed appointments, I've missed Barnstormer's ballet lessons, I've cooked meals three times. I've left taps running and left the house. I've forgotten where I've parked the car at shops. I've forgotten where I'm going when I've got in the car. I've forgotten if I've taken my medication that morning. I've forgotten that HM's aunty died four days ago and asked how she was.

2. Just say NO to book contracts.
Unless  there is nothing else going, the motivation just isn't there at the moment to meet deadlines.

3. Walk along the beach every morning.

This stuff is GOLD. Makes me feel good all day.

Right, I feel better already just for writing all of that down. How is everyone else travelling at this time of the year?


Anonymous said...

This time of year does my head in too, and I give everything to "the job", because it will all be over soon, and it never does. But tonight I cleaned the kitchen, folded the washing and since the house looks less shit, I feel better! Chin up, the sun and summer always make things better, at least I am counting on it. Holidays in Jan!

Leon said...

I think a re evaluation of the medication is a priority

Transient said...

medication for a different purpose for me but it seems that it has the same effect. I have to take it as the very, very last thing I do before I go to sleep or I literally cant keep track of whether I have taken it or not. also means that at least for the first 8 hours of floury brain I am asleep.

I think that last goal is the most essential- especially now winter has passed for you. x

Triple Jane said...

Yes, very true. Chin up. I am planning on hols in December... Enjoy your hols in Jan. xx

Triple Jane said...

I have the same problem, I simply cannot remember sometimes if I have taken them. I think I need to buy one of those Days of the Week pill containers because my current system is a major FAIL.

Going to beach tomorrow. V looking forward to it. xxx

kelly said...

I have decided to accept the fact that my 6yr old in fact does know better than me when it comes to life matters.she has also kindly offered to interview prospective dates for me as I choose loser jerks..Hm I kinda had to concur :-)

Triple Jane said...

I hope she's got strict criteria! Kids these days seem to know a lot more than we did at the same age. But then again, we didn't grow up in the age of information like they are.

Kelley @ magneto bold too said...

follow your body - or brain - I think that is the hardest advice to ever follow.

And your daughter is PRICELESS.

Triple Jane said...

Yes she is priceless, but I think sometimes I'd like to put her on ebay and see what I could get. Just kidding.